By: Jacqueline Stafford
American society is known for it's superficial values and materialistic tendencies. Our culture puts such a strong emphasis on beauty and youth as being the means to success, especially for women. It is instilled in all girls from an early age to associate aging with negative connotations. We learn to avoid it at all costs. For instance, try and think about how many anti-aging cream commercials you think you have absentmindedly watched over the years? Or, how many celebrity women have you heard being bashed in the media for bad plastic surgery. No matter what, it seems like women are set up to lose. If we age naturally, no one says it, but you lose your relevance. If you take the defense and do whatever it takes to stop the aging process, you will eventually look like a crazy cartoon version of your old self.
Having said this, at the age of twenty-four, I assumed I would still have a few more years to go before being categorized as "old" or "used up". Apparently, I was wrong. I don't know what happens when your on the verge of your twenty-fifth birthday, but it seems to be the marker in a girls life where you should have a set game plan for your future. If you did make a checklist of your expectations of where you wold be, at this point in your life it's even more depressing to realize your nowhere close to checking off one of those items. It really is a milestone in a girls life, because we begin to think about our future seriously. Before recently, anytime I thought about my future it felt so far away. Now with the impending doom of turning 25, and graduating this year, I wish I put more thought into it! Also, at a certain point you realize changes need to be made if you aren't happy with your life. Being a bar rat might never get old for you, but at a certain age it's just not a good look. You start over analyzing your life choices, failed past relationships, and your inability to choose a career.
As of lately, I have been overly concerned with the fear of ending up alone, and never finding that special someone to grow old with. I have never been that girl who has been planning my wedding day since childhood. I don't have a board on Pinterest dedicated to wedding ideas or engagement rings. To be honest I still can't imagine getting married anytime soon, so why am I freaking out about it? Maybe because all my relationships up to this point have been a joke. The increasing engagement announcements on Facebook might be making me feel the pressure. I could be influenced by our societies attitudes that single independent women after a certain age end up bitter and alone.
It's probably a combination of all of these things, but we need to stop driving ourselves crazy over this. How in our day and age, is finding a husband still a huge priority for most women in this country? With all the obstacles women have overcome. The rights we have fought for throughout history, and gain. Modern women have so many more opportunities to take advantage of. So I think it's sad that I personally know so many girls who have put their lives on hold or adjusted them in some major way to be with a guy.
I don't care if Ryan Gosling himself came to my door and professed his love for me; and told me that he was leaving Eva Mendes to run away with me. I mean obviously I would work something out, but I'm not getting my hopes up since he is a new dad and all. I just can't imagine throwing all my plans aside, leaving my job, and family, my great apartment to go be with some guy who most likely doesn't come close to a Ryan Gosling look alike. Girls, can you please start thinking about yourselves first, and not the guy your with for the moment. I mean come on do you really think your going to get married in your twenties, and stay married to that same person for the rest of your life. NO! At this age no one has a a clue about what they want out of life, or even who they really are. Are we forgetting that more than 50% of the marriages in America will end up in divorce?
Women, I suggest you put all your energy into building your future, your career, your self-worth, and of course being happy. You don't have to start life when you meet the right guy, you can start right now! If you are an accomplished independent women I don't know what guy wouldn't be interested in that. You most likely will attract the men you want to actually be with. Lets be honest, if you don't need a guy that's when they seem to want you the most. Just imagine, 10 years down the road if you take on this philosophy of life. You will be at the height of your career making bank, possibly in a happy and equal partnership, while all those people who are getting married now will either be divorced, or on their third kid. You'll be going, look at me now mathafuckas!
Seriously, ladies no guy in their twenties has marriage on their mind. If they aren't worrying about it then we shouldn't either.